There’s been a glaring, yet consistent theme over the last three weeks in my work. Light.
In this time period, I’ve done over 73 hour of intense face to face therapy, both in group and individually and what’s been synchronistically bubbling is that when the courage to feel it all emerges, so does light.
This light that I’ve witnessed within my clients has been both in the words they use as well as in their energy. It seems to take all shapes and form of the word including noun and adjective. Light as in less weight, distanced and burdenless and light as in bright, clear, illuminating. It’s even extended so far as to mean for some the ignition of enlightenment.
If I were to synthesize these informal findings over the last few weeks, the best I can explain with words would be seeing my clients shed their dull, old skin by expressing and experiencing the entire spectrum of feeling while being safely witnessed. In turn this allows them to step into a beautiful radiant light in which their authenticity shines and in turn illuminates their way home while giving distance from the emotional wounds that have held them back. They’re more equipped to continue their journey due to being less burdened and carrying less weight.
When I began realizing this theme was emerging, I started to take a tally somewhere early around the second week. Out of the 46 hours of EMDR done, 33 clients said this exactly, “I feel light”. The others, with the exception of six said some derivative of; “there’s a lightness,” “I feel lighter,” “there is distance and I’m not impacted by it anymore” or “things are less dull and more bright”.
What became crystal in this impromptu research is that this light didn’t just show up. It wasn’t purely from having a good vent or just dumping what was going on. There’s a very clear, delineated formula. I wish I could take the credit and say it’s because I’m that good of a therapist but that isn’t it. The light showed up because of the bravery in my clients allowing themselves to feel it all. Fucking feel every ounce of the pain, suffering, fear, shame, and grief. Once they were vulnerable and gave themselves permission to feel, the outcome was beautiful, bright light. As the Lumineers artfully sing, “it’s better to feel pain, than nothing at all. The opposite of love’s indifference. So pay attention now.” I love that line so much because it sums up that feeling reminds us we’re alive and on the other side of the pain is the light.